I offer my sympathies and prayers for the nine victims at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston and their relatives and friends. I relate to their feelings.
My grandfather was murdered. I was the only grandchild who saw and smelled the bloody scene. It embittered me with hate for the man who murdered my grandfather. He was on FDA approved anti-depressant drugs. My grandfather died while protecting his wife and his daughter.
For 33 years I carried the bitterness. I was a “good” man in most people’s opinions. But, the pain and anger inside me kept me from being my best, thinking my best, and doing my best. Finally, some friends confronted me about my hiding my rage well and prayed for me. That was when I started to let go of the pain and anger and started living a better life. You already have many people praying for you. I wish you well.